Escape from Australia.
The only way out is a punt.
$5 buys you a horse. What have you got to lose?
THE GETAWAY CUP FINISHES IN 0DPre-launch preview: punts are pledges. No money moves and no draw is running.
What are you in for?
Founded as a penal colony. Returning to form.
THE CHARGE SHEETCOMMONWEALTH V. YOU
YOUR SENTENCE
You start working for yourself on 21 March.
80 days a year for the Commonwealth, before the rent, the rates or the ute.
Resident rates 2026-27 plus Medicare levy. A rough estimate, and a joke.
The only way out is a punt.
When things are this bad, a long shot is the sensible option.
EVERY FIVER IS A HORSE
The Getaway Cup.
The race that leaves a nation.
THE FIELD HITS THE LINE IN
SIMULATED FIELD. NOT REAL ENTRIES.
- THE FIELD
- 0
- IN FRONT TODAY
- Nobody yet
- YOUR HORSE
- Not in the race yet
- $5 buys you a horse.It runs under your alias from the moment you punt.
- The race runs for a year.Everyone sees the same field. Horses swap places every day.
- Nothing counts until the last furlong.It stays locked until the countdown hits zero. One horse wins. That punter flies.
Departures
TAP A FLIGHTTHE TANK
She goes when she's full.
Every horse puts $5 in the tank. Each line pays for the next piece of the getaway, and it has to be full before anyone flies.
0 OF 12,000 PUNTS
THE MANIFEST
Pick your bolt-hole.
EXCLUSIVE ONE-WAY OFFER
The Bolter Package: Business Class Escape with Private Counsel & Bonus Kelpie
WHILE YOU WAIT
Clear Australian airspace.
Drag to dodge. Every brown envelope is a letter from home. Doesn't change your odds. Nothing does.
YOUR ODDS WITH A FULL TANK
1 in 12,000
You've got Buckley's.
Is this real?
The satire is. Right now this is a pre-launch preview: punts are pledges, no money moves and no draw is running.
How does the race work?
Every punt is a horse. The field runs from now until the first Tuesday of November 2027. The order changes daily and means nothing: the last furlong stays locked until the countdown ends, and that's when one horse is drawn. If the tank isn't full by then, the race runs on until it is.
Where does the fiver go?
Today, nowhere. It stays in your pocket, which makes this the only thing in Australia that hasn't cost you more this year. When punts go live, every fiver goes in the tank to buy the package.
What's a ticket of leave?
The paper that let a colonial convict work for themselves and start a life outside the system. Yours is a pledge with better typography.
Why Buckley's?
As the story goes, the saying comes from William Buckley, a convict who bolted in 1803 and lived another 50-odd years. Nobody gave him a chance either.
Show me the receipts
Everything in the news ticker that isn't from Our Desk is real reporting, paraphrased. None of these outlets has anything to do with this site.
Is this financial or migration advice?
No. It's a joke with a website. Talk to a licensed adviser before you sell the ute.
